I can see your paper going a long way. I like the idea of thinking out the pros and cons of both science and the arts and exploring their most significant parts. I would suggest making your thesis more clear and developed. Right now it is a little vague so I didn’t know where you were going with the paper until I was on the second to last paragraph. It is important to get right to your point. This same idea should be applied to your paragraphs too. Your claims seem to fall at the end of your paragraphs when it may be beneficial to get to your argument right when you start your paragraph. I want to mention that you are very good at introducing your sources. Another thing you may want to introduce before talking about it too much is STEM vs STEAM and what that really means. Your average reader may not know what these terms mean. I hope my advice helps. Attached are the pictures of your essay.

Good luck,

Ben